The Negative Energy Diet

by Mushra

Have you gained weight since getting a boyfriend/girlfriend? Have you grown so confident in yourself at home and at work that it’s like that filter you had before has suddenly shut off? If so, I recommend The Negative Energy Diet. It works wonders!

In the same day that you start the deit, you’ll have turned that free-flowing filter back on and already your body will be craving excess amounts of food. With The Negative Energy Diet your mind is in control! Just tell yourself that no one will love you if you don’t loose that weight soon and BLAM! your body has already begun to change.

Remind yourself that no one really cares what you say and they’ll make fun of you or talk behind your back anyway, so why let them see any part of your mind? And just like that your verbal filter is turned back on and rerouted to fit with society’s standards!

Buy The Negative Energy Diet starter pack–with demotivational cards for reference and a skewed mirror to remind you of the way society sees you–and you’ll save a whopping $50 on your first installment of $29.95 (not including shipping and handling).

Order now and you’ll receive the Extra Negative Energy Diet Pack to really fuel you on those tough days where you’re positively the odd ball out. Call now! 1-800-NEG-ATIV

This is not a real product, in case you haven’t figured that out by now. This is just a creative rant in the form of an infomercial. This is my outlet. I write to let things out. Hah hah. Kbye.